The sun glints off of her wet lower lip. Her hair is the golden brown you see in cigarette ads. I don't realize I'm staring until the other three members of her table stare back at me. I quickly look down at the bubbles in my overpriced island beer. I feel my face redden as the wind brings their titters of laughter to my ears. "Damn, you're off to a great start!"

I'm racking my brains for some witty remark that will give me the courage to go over and meet her but everytime I gaze at her I immediately start fantasizing. God! The goddess of my dreams is sitting there, not ten meters away, the wind gently lifting her soft hair off of the tanned curves of her shoulders, laughing at me. Well, at least she knows I'm interested in her. At least I didn't have a drool string flapping from my mouth.

Uh oh. She's coming this way. Oh no! What am I going to do? Oh... she's just going to powder her nose. Whew! I hurriedly squeak an order for another cold one. Calm down. She goes to the bathroom just like you. Good grief, you, who's enjoyed innumerable women and have paid innumerable doctor's bills, are falling apart. It must be Key West. You always lose it in the Keys.

"Hi!"

If you are approaching that time when your little girl or boy leaves the mothership and heads to college, this list will help.